2 January 2015

Whilst you might be thinking I’m about to write about Frozen (I have three daughters; of course I’ve seen it) the parents amongst you can breathe a sigh of relief. I recently read a saying about grudges and the motivation we have for holding on to them, which I think is particularly interesting as we venture into the New Year.

handshakeI’m willing to bet everyone reading this has had a grudge at some point. I’ve been guilty of exactly the same thing in the past. Yet, who is this emotion really serving? Think about it; grudges usually take hold when you’ve been hurt, but what purpose do they have?

I think it is best explained in a comment made by Steve Maraboli, who said: “When you hold a grudge, you want someone else’s sorrow to reflect your level of hurt but the two rarely meet.” Holding onto bad feelings about someone else is a futile exercise and one that is likely to only have an impact on yourself; not the person who might have wronged you.

It’s also easy to forget that people often have very complicated reasons for behaving in certain ways. They may not have intentionally hurt or offended you and, ultimately, it is your decision – not theirs – to hold onto negative feelings. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Don’t start a new year off with an old grudge. Ask yourself what good it is doing and if the answer is ‘none’ then perhaps it’s simply time to let it go…

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